Meet The AudioPimps
Hi there, we're the AudioPimps. How you doing?
By the time you've surfed to the bottom of this page you're gonna know us like a familiar shoe, although we like to think we smell better than a familiar shoe, at least before the performance. Here we'll introduce ourselves and what we do; if you want to hear our demo songs & peruse our repertoire visit our music page. Now, if you're sitting comfortably, then we'll begin...
Who are the AudioPimps?
Formed in 2003, the AudioPimps' mission is to pack the songs you love into a slick live performance. Our repertoire is blended from current hits, 90's floor fillers and classics from previous decades, meaning we can tailor a set-list to your audience. We are easy going, relaxed and 100% professional so they'll be no pretentiousness or clichéd rock-attitude - guaranteed.
Our performances usually comprise two fourty-five minute sets, but that is flexible and we want to play in the place that best fits the pace of your event. We are happy to fill the gaps around our focal live performance by playing background music of your choice, or for an additional fee we can provide a full DJ service for you to dance the night away. Sound reinforcement for speeches and similar is available on request. Rest assured we only use the highest quality equipment, which is all regularly PAT tested & covered by our public liability insurance, and unlike many bands we've refined our set-up to be streamlined and compact, so we'll be in and rocking with the minimum of fuss.
If you want to ensure that your guests are well entertained and go home praising your event, then the AudioPimps are the band for you.
Band Biography
Mike Holness
In a previous incarnation, Mike was assassinated by a gang of music-snobs for being too much like Chesney Hawkes. Yet despite having relived his entire life, he hasn’t learned his lesson and still takes on the cheesier end of his vocal duties with a child-like audacity. Aside from singing, he brings his boyish good looks to the stage along with some questionable dance moves and his favourite teddy bear, “Tristram”, without whom he won’t leave home. When he’s not singing, he’s often found in supermarkets moving pot noodles to the toiletries aisle.
Jonathan Hargreaves
Jon's gene line can be directly traced back to bears, hence his predisposition for uprooting saplings and concussing salmon. He plays the bass in the AudioPimps as it is the only instrument chunky enough for him to get his paws round. During daylight hours he is a research and teaching fellow in the Acoustics centre at the University of Salford.
Andrew Jones
Andy is an anthropological armadillo; he has a very grown up job that involves wearing a suit and looking dour, yet this shelters a fun-loving and child-like interior. He suffers hypnotic trances brought on by proximity to the gyrating bodies of the dance-floor, hence keeps a safe distance behind his drum kit. He just loves to play and has been known to collude in performances of tunes by Anastasia and other unmentionables.
Paul Kendrick
Paul’s previous career was based around the manufacture of mittens for Llamas. However when his shop in Cleethorpes proved not to be wholly profitable, he sought another non-Llama-mitten (non-Llitten) related activity. Then one day while walking in the woods he stumbled across the Audiopimps gathering acorns to hide in hollow logs and asked if he could join them. Now a fully fledged member of the Pimp crew Paul counts among his skills as; playing guitar and having hair.
Robin
Robin is a multitasking meastro, while playing and generally getting the party rocking he has been known to solve complex mathematical problems while simultaneously making Soufflé. During daylight hours, when he is not providing the foundation of the pimps' magical sound Robin is a music therapist.
Previous Pimps
Having received thier pimp training and a nice badge fully trained pimps flee the nest and to explore the wilds; most noteably towards Ciltheroe and Australia
Ant Mulherin
Ant is a non-crime fighting, powerless superhero; he has a penchant for hideous one-liners and carries a large cardboard speech bubble displaying the word "KA-BONG!!" which he still finds hilarious to this day. Aside from bringing facial hair a-plenty to the pimp massive he also sings loudly, wears Global Hypocolour long johns, sports an inflatable jet pack and owns a figurine that looks a lot like Maradona but simply isn't. Despite coming 4th in an Ant Mulherin look-a-like contest, he is still adamant that he is indeed himself.
Dave Trott
Dave is a compulsive liar. He approached us in the guise of a nose flautist but thankfully we saw through to his true ability as a guitarist of considerable flair. He was once brainwashed by musical instrument manufacturing giant Roland and, despite years of counselling, still unpredictably lapses into bouts of unequivocal praise of their product portfolio. Dave runs his own music school and won't reveal the chords to anything without a fee.
Rider
The following document describes our standard technical requirements for gigs, including stage space and power requirements - ignore at your peril!
If the package you have negotiated from us differs from this then we will inform you at the time of booking.
Testimonials
- You rocked the place! Seriously we had nothing but rave reviews from customers and the bar staff thought you were tops! Would love to have you play again! - Uluru, Altrincham
- Tight, professional and cracking entertainment with some unique ideas other bands couldn’t pull off, I will definitely be booking them again and recommending them to other venues. - Oliver's Bar, Ashton
- You Rock! - Small child in Warrington (& children never lie...!)
- They were awesome, best band we have had, it was packed. Everybody in the pub loved them, so much energy, music fantastic, atmosphere outstanding - The Wellington, Ashton
- We just wanted to say thank you for making our wedding day as special as it was!! You did an absolutely fantastic job - you got everyone up on the dance floor and other than needing air and water i didn't leave it!!! - Tanya & Chris